Subterranean Coronation of the Clueless

Stud Hamster and Gopher of Prairie-dog Town
stuck out their two heads, showed their teeth and a frown
to terrify Russians from Putin on down
who’d quail at sight of their noses so brown
from sniffing the butts of Zelenski the clown
and NATO who promised them rodent renown
for dying in trenches with dirt for their crown.